20/20

Oh my gosh...

Blogger saves unblogged posts as well, and I just found tons of unposted material amongst all my posted updates. I'll uncover these, they're rather good, just...incomplete.


I'll take a stab at finishing them, the timing might just be off, but the concepts...they're all relative.

2011. 

accomplished.

A year highlighted above all other years, I was to experience a milestone.  This was the year I intended to graduate and go out into the world as an adult. For a girl who was raised to value education over any other matter, graduating was the purpose of my existence; 2011 was my year to shine, and I did. 

When I started college back in 2007, I envisioned what my graduated 22 year old self would be like. Obviously some of her characteristics were very far fetched  such as growing taller (at least 5'5) and too idealistic (being engaged by graduation) but she was someone I wanted to be able to look up to.

 She was supposed to be successful, confident, happy, positive, and headstrong. Granted I am still not tall enough to be a super model and I am leaps and bounds away from having a ring on it, I can't say I am disappointed with who I came to be.

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The experiences I gathered in between sleeping in lectures and staying up all night writing papers molded me in ways I could never have imagined. While we go through trials in life, it's easy to look up at the sky and just curse the stars. In hindsight, however, our vision becomes 20/20 and we are able to see what we'd gained from the FML moments, and how much better our lives are because of it. With this realization, it's obsurd to me to ever regret anything in life. Life plays out a certain way for a reason, I trust that every challenge or hiccup I experience in life will amount to something positive.

This isn't always how I've felt, and it's quite liberating to have reached this conclusion. I tended to wallow in what as and what could have been, and I used to resent the relationships I had and used my past as an reason for certain behaviors.  I am now able to relinquish my grasp of the past and charge forward.



I know this isn't where I was originally going to drive this entry...but it's the best I can do.