The Reason

Life isn't fair.

We've heard it all our lives, but have we questioned for second the reason behind this concept? WHY isn't it fair?! WHY can't it be fair? WHY don't we all get what we deserve?!
Why has society set some of us up for failure? And finally, Why haven't we done something about it?

Every child needs a fair chance at life, at success, at dreams and ambitions. Many don't have that luxury. It pains me so much to see it that it's almost taking a physical toll. I'll admit, being brought up in the protective care of my parents, I couldn't differentiate between a 'good' or 'bad' neighborhood, town, school. I didn't know life was harder than the one I have. I couldn't have imagined the state in which some children have to learn in. I never thought that there existed an outside cap on an individual's success. I couldn't grapple with the idea that some are born to 'make it' and others are not. I had understood that those who fail choose to, I know find that it isn't true. And I haven't ever been as heartbroken for these children as much as I am now.

I struggled in school to the point that my ability to move up a grade was in question. From parents, and family members,to  friends, and teachers it seemed as if no one had faith in me. Let's face it-it's not fun to teach a student when it's difficult. A student who seemingly fails at all sorts of different methods and styles. As a child, if no one believes in you, not even the smartest adults, what makes you think you have what it takes? Nothing does. I will tell you that much, you know you will fail before you even try.
So the perpetuation of that vicious cycles goes on to later years and is the formula to other negatives.

I can't explain how I went from barely passing 7th grade to graduating high school with a 4.0, but because I did it, I know it's possible. I know all the feelings, the helplessness the lack of motivation, the disappointment, to the sudden pride, to the momentum of success, to the beaming of satisfaction.

I never understood why God let me hate myself over this for so much of my childhood. Not until I made the decision to teach, to prevent history from repeating itself. To be that life jacket for that helpess student who is sinking below grade average.

Everything Happens For A Reason.

I will be getting my teachers license after I graduate, I'm not sure it is even necessary for my mission.
I am going to find those students who are 'failing'
I am going to build them up spiritually
I am going to personally help them succeed
I am going to save lives.


And no longer care what anyone thinks about my career path. I'd rather give than build it all for myself anyways.